Thoughtsam

- make of it what you will -

11.19.2007

Oh, presentation is crucial! At the end of every meal, I arrange the leftovers just so, so the kitchen staff knows I care.


11.18.2007

Watching the grass grow not exciting enough for you? Try betting on the outcome...


11.17.2007

It looked and tasted just like tofu, but they explained proudly that it was soybean free - made entirely from bleached pork byproducts.


11.16.2007

Live life! Or are you waiting for a better offer?


11.15.2007

Design a beer can so it looks just as good (albeit in a different way) once it's been smashed upon the street.


11.14.2007

And there he was, staring into his cellphone like the meaning of life was to be found therein.


11.13.2007

Album title: Hide & Sequins
thanks: Caitlyn


11.12.2007

Only later did I learn the root of her fascination with floral curtains, a story too horrible to tell now.


11.11.2007

Get me my scandal stylist! It's time to make some headlines!
thanks: Matthew


11.10.2007

Sanity is a matter of context.


11.09.2007

This was a stronger dose than I had ever taken before. There was the familiar wave of sensation as my body slowed and the world around me sped up, but where time usually plateaued, it just kept going, faster and faster, the light turning to night and back to day again. All I could do was watch, dumbfounded, as the world's drama played out below me, thankful that I had secured a perch out of sight and safe from intruders.


11.08.2007

I'd never date a girl who'd had a boob job; I want to be the one to talk her into it.


11.07.2007

I've been so busy symbolizing fun and excitement to everyone, I forgot to have any for myself.


11.06.2007

Last night's tragic fifteen-car pileup seemed at first like a standard case of snow and ice, but several eye-witnesses reported hearing sleigh bells and the laughter of an unusually jolly fellow right before the screech of breaking glass and twisting metal.


11.05.2007

I'm honest because I'm too lazy to come up with good lies.


11.04.2007

It was one of those retro houses, all decked out like an early 21st-century suburban tract home, complete with a series of fake satellite dishes on the roof and a replica of an extremely large automobile out front.


11.03.2007

Everyone on the street, plugged into their iPods, they've rediscovered the beauty of sign language.


11.02.2007

It's only mysterious if you actually try to figure it out.


11.01.2007

Band name: Seditious Grape
thanks: Matthew