I'm just telling you this now so I'll remember having said it later.

In the society of toddlers, we're but anthropologists.

There's a man on the bus with a toothbrush in his mouth, and his head's lolling around like he's about to fall asleep.

Which is better, the lie you know, or the truth you don't?

When you say she's ugly, aren't you really saying you think future generations should be absent of her genes?

In the night before, everything you might do seems like a good idea. In the morning after, everything you did seems like a bad idea. You're over the hill when the combined weight of your mornings after overpower your nights before.

It's not my fault - evolution made me do it!

He kept his friendly plants close and his enemy plants closer... with mixed results.

"I'm really onto something! I'll be famous," he thought. Later he would find out it was called "the scientific method" and everyone had already heard of it.

Sometimes I... No, I've already said too much.

What does it say about her that the tattoo on her arm has bigger breasts than she does?

He liked to support his prejudices with plausible-sounding scientific evidence.

Bowling is an unintended consequence of Newtonian physics.

Yeah, well, I know the international language of kicking your ass!

Commerce thrives around inefficiencies in a system, like ants to rotting fruit.

He'd written "love = theft" on the inside cover of his notebook.

It's good to challenge your assumptions, but not while you're driving.

You can be idealistic only so long before you just have to eat ice cream.

thanks: Matthew

They say alcohol makes you do things you wouldn't otherwise. I wish it were true, as I don't want to take responsibility for what I'm going to do tonight.

Just when I got used to their staring, now I miss it when it's gone.

There I sat, on the bluff overlooking the ocean, with a crumpled flower in my hand, trying to figure out which I regret more - the mistakes I've made, or the chances I've left untaken.

At the last moment he reached up and grabbed the siderail, swinging into the tram in one smooth motion.

Knowledge is the foundation of wisdom, but it should no more be mistaken for wisdom itself than a slab of concrete be mistaken for a house.

There he was again, looking out the bus window with his binoculars. I squinted to see what he might be looking at.

He had a way of telling us the truth so we wouldn't believe it.

Every day I saw her there on the platform as my train went by. Even from the briefest flash, the sorrowful look on her face would haunt me for hours.

Higher and higher he climbed, until the commotion below was just a faint rustling on the wind.

One year!

Like the whipmarks on my back, your love is etched into my soul.

His pace quickened then, and I knew I would soon be exposed.

When I'm done digging these ones, I'll just start another set. What else would I do?