When we got bored of Rock, Paper, Scissors, we'd play Monkey, Whale, Alligator.

thanks: Christina

OK, Justice and Karma have a fight... who wins?

In the '60s, every band name was a drug reference. If it wasn't to begin with, it didn't take long to become one.

Oh, just you wait - when I die, I'm gonna haunt the high holy heck out of this town!

Praised be the blessed contraption!

"Huh," he said, absently inserting his finger into the fresh hole in his chest, "I thought this sort of thing happened to other people..."

Our lives haven't been the same since we got Junior that My First Mr. Coffee.

The truth. It's no deeper than this moment, right now.

He was in a glitch-pop band called Maximum Throughput.

The apartment had once been a CIA safehouse, and the landlord hadn't renovated before renting it out, so it still had secret doors, an interrogation room, etc. That was cool, but the visits from mysterious strangers at odd hours kind of got to me.

I never told you how happy I was to see you - not until it wasn't true anymore.

Her problem was she was simple where she should've been complicated and complicated where she should've been simple.

What band was it, did "Locketful of Evil"? I loved that album. . .

With all due respect, ma'am, fuck you. I'll fight, and I'll die, so you can be free to make your pompous little speeches, but I'll be damned if I let you tell me how to think, or how to behave.

Tired of waiting for your toaster? Try new Toast-On! Spray it on bread or bagels for that instant toast taste! Caution: Do not allow to come in contact with skin.

thanks: Matthew

She burst through the door and slammed it closed, pushing herself against it. "Thank God you're here," she panted, turning toward the living room. "Who are you?" was all I could manage.

A director's job is to lie about this incredible movie they're going to make, until enough people believe them that it becomes a reality.

I'd probably get over you quicker if you weren't still sleeping in my bed.

You know, I bet the Romans would have totally loved Wal-Mart!

I really wish you'd quit carrying that teddy bear around; it's creeping me out.

He always sought to express the specifics of his life in terms of universal maxims.

Seriously, there's nothing wrong with you a brain transplant couldn't fix.

Sometimes the best way to honor the past is to bury it.

The car and phone both distort your sense of place, allowing you to escape your immediate surroundings. Using them at the same time shows an almost pathological attitude toward where you are right now.

International intrigue: why just consume it when you can produce it?

I love my flying car, but I have to admit it gets horrible gas mileage.

thanks: Matthew

Homicide detective Peters was brilliant at his job but he couldn't solve even the simplest problem in his own life if there wasn't a corpse involved.

If everyone is looking over the next hill, no one will stop to plant a garden in this valley.

The potion was yucky,
But now I feel ducky;
From base to brim,
Filled with vigor and vim!

I'm still waiting for Surrealistic Strumpet's debut album: "What?"

I found it was easier to convince myself of the life-affirming qualities of asphalt and concrete than to plant trees and flowers throughout the city.