I'm going to invent a language where every single word is onomatopoetic.

That form-fitting burlap sack just drives the itch fetishists wild!

Venice, covered in tourists like ants crawling on a beautiful corpse.

Reality is easy to come by; a good fantasy takes real work.

Say what you want - geese just aren't at the top of my list of most kissable waterfowl.

Artist: Room For Rent
Album: No Vacancy

If you come, they will build it.

Just another ideological tourist, traipsing through the backyards of other people's beliefs.

Embroidered on the front were the words, "Well, at least the closet's clean."

thanks: Christina

"If it's ugly, it's because I designed it to be that way!" he bellowed.

From the makers of "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter!" comes the delicious new "Looks Like It Might Be Chicken!"

thanks: Kathy

"You know," she smirked, "I'm looking forward to liking you."

Why do we give children baby dolls to take care of? We should give them old-people dolls; get them ready for your retirement as soon as possible!

I vowed that the evil-doers would never get me, and so I became one of them.

In my version of Apocalypse Now, Colonel Kurtz is posting obsessively to his LiveJournal, and Martin Sheen needs to talk him down in the comments without getting spammed by his creepy friends.

The things we seek to control become our dependants; we shall never be free of them.

The new housing development had streets with names like "Frightened Rabbit Rd" and "Indian Burialground Ln".

Insanity: nice place to visit, but I wouldn't want to live there.

"I don't care," he said, "Even pain is better than this uncertainty."

Introducing "Baby's First Haz-Mat Kit" - get them ready for the future the fun way!

Whoever said, "The journey is its own reward," obviously hasn't been to an American airport lately.

He hacked into my pacemaker and made me love him.

thanks: Jeannie

"Oh, I like nature," he said, "To the extent that I can eat it."

Hypocrisy is irony with a straight face.

My trash can is a shrine to synchronicity.

thanks: Peter

Carpe Dormem: sleep when you can.

His body strained at the effort, every breath rattling his soul.

"Hybrid" is the new "Organic".

Tell me a story I'll want to believe.

Dogma is the most efficient way to turn abstract ideas into concrete action.

The less you must do that is expected of you, the more you can do the unexpected.