Thoughtsam

- make of it what you will -

11.30.2006

If you want to be noticed, don't be too perfect; rough edges catch in the mind.


11.29.2006

I guess, "Say it with dismembered plant sex organs," just doesn't have the same ring to it.


11.28.2006

If the pen is mightier than the sword, why do actions speak louder than words?


11.27.2006

Every day I rehearse the story of my life. I figure eventually I've got to get it right.


11.26.2006

Our eyes locked; it was like we were the only two people on the planet. Then you gave me my change and said, "Next."


11.25.2006

He spoke with such eloquence and conviction, she desperately wanted to believe him.


11.24.2006

It was like sailing on the Titanic, from the point of view of the deck chairs.


11.23.2006

Believe me, I'd love to deal with your bullshit if I didn't have so much of my own.


11.22.2006

Artworks are but the footprints of the artist's journey.


11.21.2006

You know how a certain song or even a smell will bring back vivid memories from long ago? I get the same thing from certain combinations of temperature and humidity. Is that normal?


11.20.2006

Puppy Rentals: Great way to pick up girls, without the hassles of dog ownership! We also rent babies, for the ultra-responsible look!


11.19.2006

Bless me, Doctor, for I have sinned. It's been three years since my last physical. I eat too much, I drink too much, and I've taken the pharmaceutical industry's name in vain. For these and all of my sins, I am sorry.


11.18.2006

Have you seen my ego? I think I left it in my sports car.


11.17.2006

Fluency is a matter of knowing which corners to cut.


11.16.2006

He hit it big in the '90s, painting PowerPoint clip art onto huge canvases.


11.15.2006

Lust, wrath, gluttony, envy, pride, sloth, greed: the seven pillars of our economy.


11.14.2006

Irony is a survival skill; we use it to enter paradox.


11.13.2006

As we climbed the stairs, we passed between two large stone frogs, their eyes shining with the light of fires burning in their gaping mouths.


11.12.2006

"I know what you're thinking. You're thinking these ESP drugs aren't working."
"Well, duh."
"Okay, then why aren't my lips moving?"


11.11.2006

Look how worn it is. . . It's either really cheap, or really expensive.


11.10.2006

You think you've got it bad? When I was in the Secret Service, we couldn't afford spy cameras, so we had to copy secret documents using silly putty. Drove the engineers mad when we'd deliver stolen schematics warped out of shape on a sheet of pink goo. The joke was on us, though, when we tried to use the resulting equipment. Man, I was glad when that war was over!


11.09.2006

Suddenly I flashed back to getting picked up and swung in my father's arms when I was a child.


11.08.2006

It wasn't really any better, but now I had something to blame it on, so I was happy.


11.07.2006

And it's guaranteed to break in two years, so you can get a new model guilt-free!


11.06.2006

Some people are oysters, some are grains of sand.


11.05.2006

Oh dude, I left my air guitar on the bus. . .
thanks: Jeannie


11.04.2006

Men like that only want one thing; to get into your BlackBerry.


11.03.2006

Innocence is like money; it's more fun to spend than to have.


11.02.2006

When you held it up to the light, you could see the future.


11.01.2006

Why are problems so much more interesting than solutions?